• I'm living in the moment more than ever! It's just the wrong moment.
   

• You'd think that by now, the cops would've figured out who's been robbing Peter and what kind of pinch "Paul" has been running all these years. It's the same people, same M.O. over and over.
   

• It's not that we're "coastal elites." We just know better than everyone else.
   

• Speaking of Kierkegaard, some people say he was the wittiest of the 18th Century Swedish physicists, which is hilarious because he was a 19th Century Dutch philosopher. People are such dopes.
   

• I love that on amazon, you can watch a video showing how a pair of socks will perform in real life before you drop those $8.
   

• ​Three-legged stool? Hard pass.

 

 

 

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